I know, I know.

I’ve not been around (or posting pictures for my faithful readers) lately. Please forgive me. We are in the middle of rehearsals for a play that I am producing, hubby is directing. 2 of the kids are in the show and the 3rd is helping backstage. Today is “Hell Sunday” which basically means we’re at the theatre running rehearsals over and over and over all day long. I’ve been busting my ass for the last few weeks, here every day and night working on the set, getting everything perfect for opening night which is Friday night.

I am just the producer. JUST the producer. ONLY the producer. I am not the Stage Manager, not the director, not the assistant director (who rarely shows up and today is recovering from his drunken/coked out night last night)  That means all i have to do is figure out what it is that they need, produce it, and what they do with it afterwards is their own business, not mine. However, I like to open my big mouth A LOT and tell people how to do the things that I know how to do because I’ve done it a billion times. Literally sitting in the back of the audience right now doing this instead of watching the show because If I watch, i’ll tell em what to do. You have no idea how hard this is for me. I’m notorious for sticking my nose in where it isnt supposed to be.

Everything else is going good. Kids are.. well, Girls are doing well in school. Oldest got her report card and her lowest grade was a very high C+, which pissed her off because she busted her ass trying to get that grade to a B and her exam grade wasn’t high enough. Middle child got all A’s except for a B- in History because she wouldn’t do the work. She did finally hand in a boatload of papers that last week and it took her grade from a D+ up to the B- but she would have done a lot better had she not dwaddled. (Is that a word?)

Then there is the boy. He is a strange one, the boy. Love him to effing death, but come ON!! He is perpetually inside a video game. Everything he does is inside a video game. He pretends he’s spiderman or a plethora of other superheroes stuck inside his head. He’s very spontanious in all his weirdness and dances and sings awkwardly. I have NO idea what he’s going to do at any given moment… And he makes all of the sound effects for for every weird movement he makes. His poor teacher has no idea what to do about it. I have no idea what to do about it!

So… my lappy cord just broke – AGAIN!!! so Lappy is going to be out of commission for a while until i can get another cord. OMFG! I’m suddenly in a really REALLY bad mood. Here – a picture to hold you over.

My arse as seen from my Halloween costume.

TMI Today (It’s Tuesday)

1. When did you last use your cellular telephone as a flashlight?
Backstage today after i’d shut off the lights and had to crosst he stage in the dark to get out the back door. THey really should put light switches on both sides of the stage.

2. On a scale from 1-10, how comfy are you being naked?
Ugh! 3? I have no problem in front of hubby.. But mostly you’ll only see my tits. I think i’m too chubby for you to see anything else.

3. What is the longest you’ve ever been celibate after having lost your virginity?
Lets see….

like 4 months.  when i was 12.
I’ve also never been single.

4. Have you ever had sex in a car? If yes, since you were a teenager?
Yes.

Yes.

5. When did you last use food or drink as medication?
All the time. Not this week, but last week for certain…

Bonus: Name three words that:
a) get you excited: HOCKEY!
b) make you squirm: I really like it when men say my name. I dunno why. It’s kinda hot sometimes.
c) make you laugh: Jesus, i have no idea!!!

TMI TUESDAY!!!

Welcome… let’s get started, shall we?

 

1. Ever been skinny dipping?
Yes, Hubby and I went with EB & TS once a few years back. I love summer shows!!

2. How often do you kiss or make out without it simply being a foreplay activity?
Rarely I love to kiss too. I wish Hubby and I could kiss for the soul purpose of just kissing and expecting nothing else to come of it later. Now, something will probably happen later, it would just be nice to not have it   expected and have it be okay if all we did was make out…

3. On a scale of 1-10, how content are you with your life? (1 is lowest, 10 is highest) Do you think ‘content’ and ‘happy’ the same thing?
Hmm… I’m about a 6 or a 7. I don’t have a job so i’m stuck home every day. I love having the play stuff to work on. That makes me happy!! But i wish i could have a job something to do every day rather than sitting on my arse watching recorded tv shows and falling back to sleep at 9 am until honey comes home for lunch at 12.
And no, being happy and being content are way different. Because i am happy as a clam with my life… how things have turned out. My kids, my friends, my hobbies, my husband. It’s just how i wanted it to turn out. I can have whatever I want and smile doing it.

4. What do you do to relieve stress?
Honestly? Masturbate. I know honey hates that I do it because he believes that nothing happen with us if i do it during the day, but seriously, when i am stressed over something, i just take time out to breathe and if i can get off, a lot of that tension is gone and i can focus again.

5. What was the special trait in your first lover that made you decide that they were “the one?”
Bonus: How old were you when you first had sex? (positive experiences here…)
I don’t think SJ had a special trait. Just that we were having sex. I was 12 – so that in itself is why i thought he’d be “the one” He did do this kiss thing though… i’ve tried it with every one of my lovers since, and no one has ever done it like him… So maybe that was it. I dunno.

Now back to what you were doing…

Welcome to the 21st Century… FINALLY! (HNT)

This is the conversation I had today with a guy that I’ve known for a very long time who this week turned into someone i didn’t know.

 

Me: (On Tuesday) “I VOTED!”

D: What color did you vote for?

Me: Red White and Blue

D: I didnt vote for either, I thought they both were a bit lame. I would of voted for Sarah Palin if she was running for president.

Me: “I didn’t vote for either” = “I completely wasted my time by voting altogether.”
The right person won. Sarah Palin is a fucking retarded bitch. I’d rather vote in Eddie – the special needs kid at my daughters school.

D: I know she is, but so are they. At least she doesnt hide it.lol

Me: She’s certainly not anyone needed in office. Ever. Whoever she blew to get into the governers mansion in Juneau is beyond me. Must be nice to preside over a state that has a smaller population that downtown NYC.

God, could you have imagined her retarded kids running around the whitehouse, fucking their redneck boyfriends in closets filled with cloths that we had to pay for, getting pregnant on $500,000 business suits that Palin made some poor intern put on their credit card… Yeah, good idea.

Obama has America’s best interest at heart. I don’t recall hearing story after story after story… after story… saying he’s using campaign money or state money or tax money to drag his kids all over the country – keeping them in 5 star hotels all day at the expense of other people. No, His kids have stayed home and in school with his wife while he did the campaigning. Just like it should have been.

Now she has time to punch out some more kids with retarded names. As far as i know “Goldielocks” isn’t written on a napkin somewhere as the offical birth certificate… I mean, she does turn into “a mother Grizzly Bear” when anyone “injures” her kids.

Sorry… i think we’ve heard the last of her. Once she realized that she was about half the reason McCain lost the election. The other half, of course, made up of 1/4 The country HATES Bush and wasn’t going to have another douchebag retard in the whitehouse and 1/4 Color is not an issue anymore since segregation was abolished  and it’s taken forever for the majority of the racist fucks in the country and their kin to die off and leave it in the hands of people who give a damn about everyone and not just themselves.

/end rant.

Election TMI Tuesday! (GO VOTE)

1. Have you ever had a moving violation? An auto accident? That was your fault?
Moving violation – yes. I’ve had 2 or 3 speeding tickets and i once totalled a car that i was driving when I did not have a drivers licence. I was ran off the road, but it was still my fault because i had no licence and therefore shouldn’t have been on the road.

2. Have you ever voted? How old was your were you the first time you voted?
Yes, in fact i just got back from voting. The first time, i was… 22ish.

3. Are you glad this election cycle is over?
Yes. I’m so sick of hearing about it. Watching it. Talking about it. Arguing about it.

4. Do you have guilty pleasure? What is it (or are they)?
Cream Puffs. Omg! 6 grams of fat in each of those little bastards and there are 36 in a box. You cannot eat just 2 or 3.. tooo good.

5. What is the most embarrassing thing you have done recently?
Recently? I dunno. I don’t embarrass easily. I have no idea.
Though, you want to read my most embarrassing story ever?  READ THIS!  It’s horrible!

Bonus: How much impact has the Wall Street and general economic wilt had on you?
Not much as far as i know – i mean, hubby’s 401K is probably in the shitter, but what can i do.